Boundaries are pretty much useless with abusers and they are not the “solution” that many advocates claim they are. We’re often told that boundaries are how to get our power back but, in fact, an abuser will use them to take our power away.
We all get the point where asking our husband or ex to do or not do something (ie. setting a boundary) just doesn’t work and they do whatever they want.
So what do we do?
Read MoreHere are many examples of the unhelpful advice that is cookie-cutter “marriage advice” that abused women get from counselors and friends who don’t understand abuse (and is pretty shallow even for a non-abusive marriage.)
If you hear this kind of advice, run the other direction, read my blog, and find help from someone who understands abuse!
Here are many examples of the stupid, unhelpful, and even dangerous advice that the Christian church and culture gives to abused women.
If you hear this kind of advice, run the other direction, read my blog, and find help from someone who understands abuse!
Survivors answer these questions: How did you come to realize that your husband’s covert emotional and psychological abuse was intentional? Before this, did you believe he was unaware, wounded, or some other thing that made you give him the benefit of the doubt over and over? When you realized the abuse was intentional, how did this change things for you?
Read MoreHere are some tips by survivors about things to do to get clarity while you are waiting to see if your abusive husband is really going to change.
Read MoreWill he change? What does real change look like? What can I do while I’m waiting to see if he’ll change? True change is not just promises of change or small changes in behavior. True change is a transformation of personality and character. I’ve seen it once and here’s what it looks like.
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